


take my hands, they'll understand

by LyriumTainted



Series: Just Deacon Things: W I G [2]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Light Angst, Other, Please Don't Hate Me, Self-Indulgent, The Railroad (Fallout), angst is deacon's middle name, angsty glasses boy, face changing liar boy, i can't write but god do i try, no beta we die like men, sunglasses to hide the sadness boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:22:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyriumTainted/pseuds/LyriumTainted
Summary: Nora had only seen Deacon cry once before now- they’d been settling down by a makeshift campfire for the night, despite his protest that the fire just made them a target, when he’d spilt his guts about Barbara.
Relationships: Deacon & Female Sole Survivor, Deacon & Sole Survivor (Fallout), Deacon/Female Sole Survivor, Deacon/Sole Survivor (Fallout), John Deacon/Original Character(s)
Series: Just Deacon Things: W I G [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726144
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15
Collections: Deacon





	take my hands, they'll understand

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i'm back with an unfinished Deacon short, what about it?

Nora had only seen Deacon cry once before now- they’d been settling down by a makeshift campfire for the night, despite his protest that the fire just made them a target, when he’d spilt his guts about Barbara. 

It hadn’t started like she would’ve expected something like this would’ve; he’d almost rambled a little, trying to get it all out before he had the mind to stop.

“I really appreciate you putting up with my bullshit.” Deacon had startled her out of her thoughts, bringing her gaze from the fire to his face, watching the reflection in his glasses. She wasn’t sure if he was looking at her or not, and she wasn’t sure if he wanted her to look at him. “Truth is it's been a long time since I've had a... friend. I'm a liar. Everyone knows it. I make no secret of it. Because the truth is: I'm a fraud. To my core.”

And so that’s how it all came out; everything he’d done and everything that the world had done to him. Everything that’d happened to Barbara. Nora wanted to ask more, but she didn’t want to be invasive, scare away the  genuineness that she was so sure he was showing.

“She sounds special.”

“She was.” He’d said, “Being with her made me feel like the whole world had a chance. That one day we could climb out of this wreckage. She could do that to people.”

Something in her chest burned as she nodded, it ached with a melancholy remembrance of how life used to be with Nate and Shaun. How she used to look at her husband and feel that everything could be fine; the money struggles, the baby struggles, the language barrier that used to separate her from his life and family.

“What was she like?” 

“She had a smile like on those old magazine covers. Her eyes…”    
He didn’t say much about her after that, both of them aware that there was a line they were hovering over, pacing by, but not willing to cross just yet. He turned his head ever so slightly to face the fire more, and if she hadn’t been paying attention, she would’ve missed the way the fire glinted off of a tear. 

She got the feeling this was the first time he’d talked about it with someone in a long time- possibly ever. 

“After what happened to my family, I can understand. Probably… A little better than most.”

“I thought you might. I don't even know why I lie any more. But I can't tell the truth. Everyone - Tom, Dez, you, even that asshole Carrington - they deserve to be in the Railroad. I don't. I'm everything wrong with this whole fucking Commonwealth. You're the only friend I got. I don't deserve you being OK with this. Hell, I'm not even asking for it. But, I figured you should know.”

The end of his confession hung in the air between the two as Nora tried to figure out what to say; how could she ever say something that could even begin to help years of trauma left buried deep in his mind and heart?

She couldn’t. 

Nora slowly placed her hand over his, not fully, leaving just their fingertips overlapping; an easy way out if she was going too far.   
“We are not the mistakes we’ve made in the past. We’re our efforts to better ourselves, what we do to right our mistakes. I’m always in your corner.”

They watched the fire flicker and die for a moment, neither having tended to it for a while, and after the moment passed, Deacon pulled his hand away to rub the back of his neck.

“Yeah, well- I’m not really a hugger, so good talk.”

  
Nora wasn’t sure what had sparked this, but she appreciated it nonetheless. She’d keep it to herself, the fact that she knew he cried. It was probably the first time in a long time, unless he found time to cry while tagging along during her adventures, which she highly doubted.   
So that was that- that was the only time she’d see him vulnerable.   
Or, it was supposed to be, anyways.


End file.
